so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm really busy with my period
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