She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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