When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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