I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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