rhymes with "ouble enetration"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
