all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
