Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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