Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
