i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
