i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
