Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
