Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it's like iHOP with fire
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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