eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
