Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
