2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just had sex on a roof
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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