my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
