was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
