HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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