My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
