Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
