I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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