I'm gonna have a badass scar
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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