So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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