my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
