I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
