Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
