my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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