i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
