ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize