My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
