I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
