Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Boobs speak an international language.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
