can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize