every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
