What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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