So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
