soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
