I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
