I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
