I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
