Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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