Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
