she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
