Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize