It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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