Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
