I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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