why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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