using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
