I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
