Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
