Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
there is glitter all over my balls
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
