nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
