She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
