I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
