Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
