This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
