Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
